


Tom Fucks Up

by Nepiko



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Basically a porn fic, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Edging, Established Relationship, Humor, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 07:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18795478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nepiko/pseuds/Nepiko
Summary: Tom does an oopsie and looses sex privileges for three months.





	Tom Fucks Up

He fucked up. 

Tom and his boyfriend Shizuo were having a nice day together. Shizuo took him to the movies then they went to a cafe. Next, they sun bathed and in the park for a while and now they were heading back to Tom’s place to have dinner and maybe something more if he played his cards right (which he was doing a great job of so far).

The day was going great, so, of course, something bad had to happen.

See, Tom's relationship with Shizuo wasn't exactly common knowledge yet. Only a few close friends and family knew but that was it. 

Shizuo wasn’t entirely comfortable with being out and proud with this whole thing yet, and Tom understood. At least Shizuo was finally with him, so he wasn’t gonna complain. 

Well, he did complain sometimes, but only to himself. Most of his complaining, however, was due to a popular rumor that Shizuo and Izaya Orihara were in some secret, gay romance that they cover up by pretending to hate each other. 

The rumor made Tom genuinely angry. Not out of jealousy, but because of how it affected Shizuo. Seeing the discomfort it caused him whenever someone brung it up made Tom want to pull him into his arms and tell everyone he was his and to back off. He understood why he couldn't and shouldn’t do that but god, does he wish he could. 

Anyway, back to why he majorly fucked up.

They were walking down the street while talking about something unimportant, “subtly” brushing their hands together since they couldn't actually hold hands but they really, really wanted too, and having a nice time in general when a familiar van with some anime girl on the door pulled up. 

The van gang, as they’re commonly known as, were friends of Shizuo’s (sort of). Tom wasn't entirely sure how they know each other, but he assumed it was through the Dollars. Either way, he figured it wasn't any of his business. 

Kyohei greeted Shizuo and they made small talk. 

Tom wasn't upset that their conversation was interrupted, he liked hearing and seeing Shizuo being friendly with other people. 

Then, that one anime-obsessed girl popped out of the window and stared Shizuo down, although he wasn't sure why. 

“Shizu-chan, have you seen Iza-Iza today?” She asked randomly, still staring Shizuo down. 

“No.” Shizuo answered, already looking annoyed.

Tom couldn't blame him. He was sure Izaya was the last person he wanted to think about.

“Aw, that must suck, you haven’t been able to see your lover today!” The girl playfully said.

Tom was taken aback by her and Shizuo looked thoroughly disgusted and angry. 

“Excuse me?” Shizuo asked in a tone that would make a grown man flinch. 

“You don’t need to play coy with me, it’s ok! I bet after your fights you two sneak off and make out passionately in an alleyway, finally dropping your phoney hatred of each other!” 

She continued to go on about Shizuo and Izaya making out then somehow tied that into some anime she was a fan of. The guy who was also obsessed with anime decided to join the conversation and talked about some creepy, genderbend idea which Erika latched onto and talked about as well. 

Tom looked up at Shizuo and almost laughed at how enraged and disgusted he looked. Tom, however, knew if this continued it wouldn't end well so he decided to butt in and try to calm the situation down so the van didn't end up on the other side of town. 

“Hey, guys, how about you continue your conversation in private, yeah? It isn’t very polite to talk about that in front of other people,” Tom said calmly and confidently. If he was being honest, he’s a little happy this happened so he could step in and stand up for his boyfriend which could only boost his chances of getting some much-needed action later that night.

“Hey, don’t tell me you're jealous,” She said then gasped and turned to her friend, “Walker, what if Shizu-Chan, Iza-Iza, and Dreadlocks Guy are in a love triangle! Poor Deadlocks Guy is in love with Shizu-Shizu but his heart already belongs to Izayan!” 

She continued to talk about that god-awful idea. Walker just kinda listened, most likely thinking about that cursed genderbent idea he had. Somehow she changed the conversation to Shizuo and Izaya fucking which really wore down on both Tom and Shizuo’s patience. 

He could see Shizuo barely keeping it together. There was so much anger, disgust, and discomfort in Shizuo's eyes that it pushed Tom over the edge. 

Taking his boyfriend by surprise, Tom was the first one to snap, “Alright, that's enough!”

Erika stopped talking and stared at him, most likely taken aback.

“You two need to stop. You've clearly crossed every line with your weird fantasies which, never in a million years, would ever be true. Orihara has only ever caused Shizuo grief; why would they ever get together? Even if you still think they would through some messed up reasoning, Shizuo's already been taken off the market by yours truly.” 

Everyone was silent.

Tom couldn't remember the last time he had an outburst like that -- he doesn't know if he ever even had one before.

Shizuo stared down at him with complete shock and Erika looked like she was just told her entire life was a lie.

Then, in a turn of events, Erika’s eyes lit up. 

It was the last reaction Tom had been expecting from her and he couldn't help but fear what would come next. 

The creepiest grin Tom had ever seen appeared on Erika's face and he prepared himself for the worst. 

“Deadlocks guy exposed Shizu-Chan’s secret love affair with him! Iza-Iza is gonna be sooo jealous! I bet Shizu-Chan is gonna punish him when they get home for losing his cool and letting their secret out! Ohh, maybe when Iza-Iza finds out he'll get so jealous they'll have a three way!!” 

Tom stared in shock and horror as she continued, in detail, about Shizuo fucking him as a punishment for letting out the secret that they’re together. He’s too scared to look at Shizuo, to be honestly. 

“Hm, but who would be the bottom? Oh! Maybe Shizu-Chan and Iza-Iza take turns fucking dreadlocks guy! Or maybe they have a yaoi slip-n-slide!! Walker, do you think it would go Izayan, Shizu-chan, dreadlocks guy or Shizu-shizu, Iza-Iza, dreadlocks guy?” In a horrible turn of events, she talked in disgusting detail about Izaya and Shizuo fucking him, each other, and about whatever a yaoi slip-n-slide was. 

Before Tom could think, he yelled four words that he’d regret for the rest of his life, 

“I’M NOT THE BOTTOM!” 

Shizuo stared at him in horror and anger, making Tom immediately regret speaking. 

Erika stared at them as if her third eye had opened. 

She opened her mouth to speak but before she could get a word out, Shizuo grabbed Tom's arm and stomped away, shouting about needing to leave. 

Tom let him drag him away, already kissing his ass goodbye. He’d finally done it, he pushed his luck too many times. Tom had a good run, but tonight was the night it finally happens. Shizuo was gonna top tonight and there was nothing he could do to talk the blond out of it. 

They walked in silence back to Tom's apartment.

He gave Shizuo the keys and let him push him inside. 

As Shizuo put his keys down, he planned his will. He’d leave his weed to his little brother since he wouldn't stop bugging him for some. Might as well do something for the kid when he’s gone. 

Tom was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Shizuo take a deep breath and mumble his name. 

“Yes, honey?” He asked shakily, taking the advice of his married friends to suck up to her when she’s pissed so you’re less likely to be murdered. He hoped it worked ‘cuz he really enjoyed being able to sit. 

“Do you mind explaining why you decided to yell that earlier?” 

The calm, monotone voice terrified Tom to no end. “Because the way she was talking about you isn’t acceptable. She shouldn’t have said that about you.” He still had a chance to save his ass. Shizuo was a big softie. If he said the right words, he’d get off scot-free. 

“That’s not what I’m talking about, Tom.” 

Shit. 

“Um...I’m sorry?” He didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like he was going to tell him about his insecurities about his height and his masculinity in general and that he felt the need to defend himself whenever that masculinity was questioned. 

Shizuo only replied with a ‘mhm’ and Tom felt himself die a little inside.

“Since you apparently don’t know how to keep that shit to yourself, no sex for two months. Maybe next time something like that happens you’ll think twice before running your mouth.” 

Tom felt his balls deflate. There’s no way he was serious, right? Shizuo was the horniest guy out there, he couldn't just not have sex with Tom for two months. 

“You’re joking right? Two months is a little extreme, don’t ya think?” He replied shakily, trying to save the situation. Looking back, that was a terrible decision. 

“Oh, is two months not good enough? Make it three, then.” 

Tom almost cried. “Baby, come on, you don’t mean that. I know I screwed up and I’m sorry but not having sex for three months is a bit much, ya know? Here, let me make it up to you.” He reached for Shizuo’s hand but he jerked it back before he could grab it. Tom felt his soul being crushed. 

“Three months isn’t long at all. Don’t tell me you aren’t man enough to survive three months without fucking something.” 

Of course he pulled the masculinity card. It was the go-to card to pull to make Tom do whatever he wanted. 

“What? No, of course I can last three months, it’s just you know how much I love being intimate with you. Anyway I can get closer to you I just love, ya know?” One tip his married friends always gave was to shower her with affection and attention, a sure-fire way to get her to forgive you. 

“There are ways to love someone other than sex, Tom. If you’re such a man, then not putting your dick in something for three months should be walk in the park. I’m gonna go take a shower, you’ll have dinner ready when I’m out, yeah?” 

Shizuo walked back to the bathroom while Tom regretted the day he was born. 

“Yep...” he replied dejectedly. It was official, Shizuo wasn’t gonna let him fuck him for three months. Tom shook his head and forced out a grin.

‘There’s no way he’ll last 3 months, I’m fine. By the end of the week he’ll be begging for me. This is just an empty threat cuz he’s angry right now.’ 

He thought positively, trying to give his dick some hope. ‘Besides, I can always jerk off if I need to.’ 

“Oh, I forgot, no jerking off, either. If you do, I’m breaking up with you!”


End file.
